Really, if you’re interested in vampires and have already read great literary works such as those by Anne Rice, Bram Stoker, Charlaine Harris (even though it has very little to do with vampires, if you actually analyze it), Stephen King’s “Salem’s Lot” and the like…. Put down ‘Twilight’ and read a much darker, sinister book regarding vampires (that keeps our folklore right where it should be — and considerably less sparkling *gag*).

I’ll even provide a synopsis, and links to purchase this great work on Amazon.com (also to the DVD and Blu-Ray, which is wonderful if you enjoy things like subtitles).

Let The Right One In (Paperback)
Let The Right One In DVD
Let The Right One In Blu-Ray

And onto the synopsis (syn-op-sis: a brief summary of the plot of a novel, motion picture, play, etc)!

A fragile, anxious boy, 12-year-old Oskar is regularly bullied by his stronger classmates but never strikes back. The lonely boy´s wish for a friend seems to comes true when he meets Eli, also 12, who moves in next door to him with her father. A pale, serious young girl, she only comes out at night and doesn´t seem affected by the freezing temperatures. Coinciding with Eli´s arrival is a series of inexplicable disappearances and murders… One man is found tied to a tree, another frozen in the lake, a woman bitten in the neck. Blood seems to be the common denominator – and for an introverted boy like Oskar, who is fascinated by gruesome stories, it doesn´t take long before he figures out that Eli is a vampire. But by now a subtle romance has blossomed between Oskar and Eli, and she gives him the strength to fight back against his aggressors. Oskar becomes increasingly aware of the tragic, inhuman dimension of Eli´s plight, but cannot bring himself to forsake her. Frozen forever in a twelve-year-old´s body, with all the burgeoning feelings and confused emotions of a young adolescent, Eli knows that she can only continue to live if she keeps on moving. But when Oskar faces his darkest hour, Eli returns to defend him the only way she can…

Yeah.  Way cooler (and you even get romance, yayyyy).

Here’s the trailer for those interested.

The movie just came out this weekend, and really, I can’t be bothered with reviewing that (even less-so that bit of writing that people have the audacity to call “literature.”), even though I did enjoy much more than its written counterpart.

I realize there’s not much I HAVE to say, given the fact that others before me have already said it.

Quite frankly, I don’t care if I’m hated for disliking this piece of useless dribble.  As a matter of fact, I worry for our youth and how they will view relationships and themselves after how absolutely awful these main characters are (IE: anti-social, low self-esteem for Bella, and of course the ever-frequent stalking and psychologically abusive ways of Edward).

Instead, I shall link you to some of my favorite things pointing out how blatantly off this thing is!

• 28 Reason why ‘Twilight’ the movie is better than the book.
• A wonderful ‘Twilight’ review taken from adariel on LiveJournal.
• I want to beat Edward with a stick!  (this one includes a wonderful list of how many times things were said/done in the books — which just easily states how awful this crap is.)
• ‘Twilight’ in fifteen minutes.
• Breaking Dawn — Book one.
• Breaking Dawn — Book two.
• Breaking Dawn — Book three.
• Cleolinda’s thoughts on ‘Twilight’.
• Twilight II: Vampiric Boogaloo.
• Twilight III: Bride of Twilight.
• And trailer_spot was nice enough to upload videos of Robert discussing how ridiculous Edward and Bella really are.  He was polite about it, don’t worry.
• Of course, the number of one-star ratings on Amazon.com are nothing less than amusing (and more-so than the book!).
• Edward Cullen turns into a 40 year old woman.

Ah, good times.

Edit PLUS spoiler (3/25/09):

I’m entirely curious.  So vampiric women cannot get pregnant and therefore cannot carry babies.  So how the hell does it work out that Edward can impregnate Bella, and thus must turn her into a vampire so their lovechild doesn’t eat her?  How does she carry the lovechild to birth?  I must know.  (No, I didn’t read it so I’m not sure if it was explained, a friend of mine filled me in so I wouldn’t feel compelled to read the other books.)  Fill.  Me.  In.