“A student at a fundamentalist Baptist school that forbids dancing, rock music, hand-holding and kissing will be suspended if he takes his girlfriend to her public high school prom, his principal said.”

Uhm.  What?

I find that interesting, considering there are plenty of metal Christian bands out there.  Plenty.  By plenty I mean well over a handful.  So, they can’t listen to religious metal music either?  I don’t get it.  I listen to rock music regularly.  I rarely drink (and I’m 24, I can legally), I don’t drive and drive, I’ve never even used drugs (or smoked cigarettes, tried it and thought it horrid and disgusting, never tried it again), and I don’t rebel.  My parents know just about every aspect of my life, I’ve told them where I’ve been going when I go somewhere.  Overall I’d say I was a respectful kid.  My first CD I bought was Green Day’s “Dookie” when I was 9.  It was closely followed up by CDs including Marilyn Manson (and Hanson, if you want to question whether my music taste has a broad spectrum).  Rock music does not cause rebellion.

And, holding hands?  When I was little I held my mom’s hand crossing the street.  It’s a simple and appropriate sign of affection that you can display in public without making someone else want to vomit.

Where the hell does it say that God isn’t okay with dancing?  Or kissing?  Apparently, from my research, there’s not even real passages in the Bible about not having sex before marriage.  Just keeping your bed clean.

I wash my sheets every 4 days.

What’s so inappropriate about attending prom?  It doesn’t mean you’re going to have sex, or get drunk, or do drugs.  I did none of the above at mine.  I danced, I went to a school lock-in at a sports center, watched a hypnotist and played games in an adult supervised area that was free for prom attending students.

A lot of schools in my little town in Iowa provide such events to persuade students away from the hotel scenario to keep girls from feeling obligated to have sex and being put in crummy situations.

Then again, we had sex-ed.  So, we were pretty much coerced out of having sex by the time we were 12.

Anyway.

Read on here.

What do you think this kid should do?  I think it’s excellent he’s attending a senior prom with his girlfriend.  I’m sure it’s important to his girlfriend (what girl doesn’t want to go to prom?), plus it’s such a defining moment of that point of leaving high school.  It’s your last real school event prior to graduation.

I think his school is ridiculous, and no wonder there is such a disconnect between God and youth these days.

Tears are in my eyes, and my heart is in my throat.

I’m watching the latest episode of the Tyra Show, regarding discrimination against gays.

A girl named Julianne was recently on Tyra, being engaged to her girlfriend, and her parents were refusing to go to the wedding.  They did end up going to the wedding, but ignored their new daughter-in-law, and still do not support her “decision” to love a woman, because that’s “what the Bible teaches.”

Weird, I thought the Bible taught to spread love.  Religion should never be an argument to spread hate. Next, I’d like to see where the Bible says the word homosexual, or homosexuality.  Because it doesn’t.  Trust me, I’ve checked everywhere.

The mother said, “I love her, I’ll always love her, she’s my daughter.”  I’m reminded of a quote I heard from an episode of Heroes, coming from Peter’s mother to Peter (in a church, of all places), “I’m afraid unconditional love isn’t love at all.”

I have to agree.  You shouldn’t love someone because of their relation to you, but because of the person that they are.  “You don’t love someone because you need them, you need them because you love them.”

Amidst watching this episode, I’ve decided to blog about the episode as the episode goes along.  I’m amazed by the amount of segregation, and the amount of idiocy and bigotry in this country.  Being gay is being a choice?  Since when?  On a talk-show yesterday, it was regarding prom, and there was a girl who was a lesbian who wanted to wear a tuxedo to school.  The school said no, and her family in support of her sued the school.

Her mother knew she was gay when she was six.  She didn’t find out until much later.

[Commercial break.]

I can’t even fathom life believing that someone shouldn’t love who they love.  I’ve had people get in the middle of my relationship, and it’s a heterosexual relationship.  We’ve overcome each obstacle that’s been thrown at us, but I couldn’t imagine if it would be a same-sex relationship and the extra discrimination and hate we would have gotten.

[End commercial break.]

Lindsey and Julianna are holding hands, which is really reassuring that Lindsey is so supportive of Julianna.  Julianna is willing to give up her family if they lack support of her, because her future is with Lindsey.  Because gay is not a lifestyle, it is not a lifechoice, it is who someone is.  I think that Julianna’s mother and step-father need a serious talking to.  They don’t seem to understand what being gay entails.  It entails hate everywhere you go, dirty looks, lack of support, because people don’t understand it at all.  Hopefully if Julianna and her mother sit down and talk she can understand it’s not a choice.  Hopefully they can accept Lindsey into their lives, and into their daughter’s life.

I’m keeping my fingers crossed that they can be a real family, and love and accept each other for the way they are.

Now, is gay the new black?

[Commercial break.]

I think so.  Personally.  This issue will never just be about homosexuals, but it needs to be about human rights, and basic civil rights.  “All men are created equal.”  It is the very, very first line in our constitution.  Why shouldn’t a gay man have the rights of a straight man?  Why shouldn’t a gay woman have the same rights as a straight woman?

There’s a difference between having an opinion, than discriminating and singling out a whole group of people.  If you do not support homosexuality, you are saying that these tax-paying citizens are second-class citizens — even though they pay the same taxes in this country as everyone else.

By giving them rights, no one is taking away yours.  Hell, even if you don’t agree with it (and the next Bible argument I hear about it, I’ll vomit on you — it doesn’t say anything against homosexuality in the Bible, just against rape and pilliging), think of it this way — look at what it could do for our economy if gays could get married!

[End commercial break.]

A gay parent, Sam Harris, is now on the Tyra show.  “It is the first time in history that the California will amend the constitution to discriminate against someone else.”  What happens in California, luckily, is not happening throughout the United States.  Iowa (my state, yay!) and Vermont are now allowing gay marriage.  Proposition 8 in California bans gay marriage, and made it illegal for same-sex couples to share the same rights as heterosexual couples.

Proposition 8 supporters used Barack Obama’s voice, manipulated a speech, and made it sound like he was for Proposition 8 — even though he spoke out against it.  While he doesn’t agree with it, he doesn’t think that he should be able to take away the rights of anyone in this country.

There are 1100 some rights that come with the word “marriage.”  Any tax paying citizen should be able to have those same rights.

[Commercial break.]

I have to agree.  I’ve had this argument with a few people.  One (a soon-to-be family member) told me she didn’t agree with gays getting married because they physically couldn’t have children.  I was baffled.  I’ve been suffering for two years with cervical cancer, have had a tumor removed, and tissue containing adenocarcinoma.  I almost had to have a complete hysterectomy (uterus and cervix removed).  I wouldn’t have been able to have children either — should I not be able to get married?  “Well, you can adopt.”  Gay couples should be able to adopt.  I was raised by a gay parent, and guess what — still straight!  Obviously being gay doesn’t influence your children.  Just like being raised by a heterosexual parent doesn’t influence whether or not your child is gay.  What makes them so inept to raise children?  All you need is love and respect to raise a child, not a certain sexual orientation.

*Shakes head*

I just can’t fathom this — almost every argument I’ve heard against gay marriage is using religion.  Religion, of all things, spreading hate?  I’d like to know who thinks they have the right to say who God loves, and who God doesn’t love.  Who the hell are we to make that call?

[End commercial break.]

Oh great, here comes the cavalry.

Cathy Middleton-Lewis (attorney) agrees that gay is the new black.  There used to be laws against allowing African-American to marry certain people.   She feels it is one-in-the-same.

Okay.  And one woman against gay-rights lumped together with adultrists and pedophilia.  Really?  Really?

And if gay is a choice, wouldn’t these people want to be straight?  Who wants to walk down the street and get discriminated against?  Who would make that choice?  If it was a choice, wouldn’t they go for the easier route?

I’m a straight woman, and I’m baffled by these heterosexual anti-gay rights activists.  BAFFLED!

I will fight for civil rights for all United States citizens.  Unless you’re a serial killer, or something.  And of course, only after you’re proven guilty.

Some day I’ll get onto my thoughts about the West Memphis 3, the lack of fair trial, and the new evidence showing that they should not be in prison.  And again, put in jail based off religious views.  I wear a lot of black, guess I murder people too.  *facedesk*

[Commercial break.]

So baffled, I’m at a loss of things to say.  Even though I almost always have something to say.

*Crickets.*

[End commercial break.]

Wait.  Wait wait wait.  Now gay is disease?

Okay, now I’m teary-eyed.  This poor young man had his father tried to “beat the gay” out of his son, and used the Bible to justify hitting and hurting someone else.

That is right!  It is un-Christian to hate him!

Oh, and now this other woman is saying being gay is mental instability?  Really?  *facedeskfacedeskfacedeskfacedesk*

And the disrespect that the gay community is being shown by three individuals on this show are ridiculous.  They aren’t even letting the gay community talk.

“We are all Americans.  This is about equality.”  Damn straight.  Errr, damn right.

[Commercial break.]

Not letting someone else talk and being rude is definitely fear.  Fear of being proven wrong, fear of a point being made against you.  They could sit there, shaking their heads that are filled with bigotry, but they could at least respect another human being enough to let them finish a sentence.

I have a feeling if there is a God, he’s doing a serious *facedesk* right now.  Over, and over, and over again.

Food for thought — if God says being gay is wrong, why didn’t Jesus preach against it?

Ever?

Ever ever ever ever?

Riddle me this, riddle me that.  I wonder if anyone will ever answer that question for me.  I ask that every time I hear something regarding discrimination against homosexuality and using religion.

Being gay being a choice.  Pah!  When did she wake up straight, and say, “You know, today I think I’ll be straight.”

Next, I want to know why gay people have to sit down and “talk with their families” about being gay.  I never had to talk to my mom and dad about being straight.

[End commercial break.]

Tyrashow.com if you want to debate.  I encourage spreading love and equality for all.

If I forgot any tags.  Let me know.  I’m mentally and emotionally drained after that hour.

I’m watching Tyra Banks, as I often do when I’m home in the afternoon, and learning that many teens are peer pressuring their friends into having sex — to lose their virginity at an absurdly early age.

I’m 24, and while I enjoy sex, I wish I would have saved my virginity.  Sex may be appealing, but it doesn’t create a relationship, and it definitely doesn’t build self-esteem.

I feel that our society is based so much on technology; we watch the television while eating dinner as opposed to having conversation and spending time with loved ones and our family.  The people who build our self-esteem often seem preoccupied with other things involving personal issues and business.

Every little girl needs to be told they’re beautiful, whether necessarily are.  Beauty is more than skin deep, true beauty radiates from within, and we need instill these thoughts into our friends and our children (not that I have any; children, that is).  Why are women made out to be such sex objects?

I’ll admit — I’m a slight feminist.  I don’t run around with signs or protest, but I do believe women should have equal rights, and nothing bothers me more than watching a man disrespect a woman.  We have just as much to do with a relationship as anyone, and are often the backbone just because of our reasoning skills and compassion — something many men lack until they have children (learning patience is definitely not a forte to anyone, but men have less emotional thinking than women, and seem to learn it at a slower rate).  Plus, we bare the children, we carry them for nine months, and I can’t believe that men would be so disrespectful.

It saddens me that many women think that a man will respect them if they have sex.  Jumping into the sack with someone is often just that — jumping into the sack.  Sometimes sex is just sex, and if you’re using sex as a way of seeking attention, it’s likely you’ll get the wrong kind of attention — if any at all.

Think of your friends, and yourself; how many people do you know who have had sex with someone, to only be treated poorly, and that is if they even get a phone call (or a phone call for something other than sex)?  It seems to happen more often than not.  And I think it happens because women don’t have self-esteem instilled in them early on in life.

As a human-being with civil rights, we have the right to say “NO.”  Maybe we should practice saying it more.  We have the right to feel beautiful.  Why is it that a women who is secure, knows their self-worth, and feels beauty is often seen as arrogant, or cocky?  Having value of yourself does not make you a bad person, it makes you a strong person who should be sought after as an equal partner.

Sex seems to deplete self-esteem more than make it — with the lack of respect and/or returned phone calls.  It leaves girls too often wondering, “Was I not good enough?  Why didn’t he call me?  Am I not pretty enough?”  When more often than not, the reasoning is irrelevant to you — the guy wanted sex, was willing to jump on it, got what he wanted, and is off doing his own thing now.  Sex doesn’t mean he will respect you, and he should earn your respect before sex.

If he’s not willing to be your friend and bring you chicken noodle soup when you’re sick, or hold your drink while you’re in the bathroom, and not comment to you consistantly about other women, then he’s not worth sleeping with.  Sex is sacred, and is really for people who are in love.  If you’re looking for a one night stand, fine, but it’s often best to leave it at that (and please, use a condom).  Emotions because of sex will just muddle things up, emotions before sex just make the sex that much better.

I am reminded at this moment of RuPaul’s Drag Race, at the end of every episode was the quote: “If you don’t love yourself, how in the Hell are you going to love anyone else?”  I find this extremely true, you can’t look for your self-worth in someone else, and if you have children, please teach them that they are worth more than just a one night stand.

Love yourself.  Do it for you.

Separation of church and state is a political and legal doctrine that government and religious institutions are to be kept separate and independent from each other.

I’m a little livid today, I must admit.  After Miss USA’s Carrie Prejean commented that she “thinks” marriage is between a man and a woman, there has been a backlash against equal rights for all United States citizens.  Celebrities including Miley Cyrus and Heidi Montag have backed Perez Hilton in saying that all citizens should have equal rights.  These two are devout Christians, and some Christian churches are retaliating.

There are so many arguments against same-sex marriages as of late, but do they really hold their stance?

I was raised Catholic, going to church every Sunday and attending CCD on Wednesdays (no, I’m not aware what CCD stands for).  We were taught that the majority of the Bible are stories that are to teach us how to live our lives, and the morals we should stand for.

Never, upon my years attending church, did I ever hear anyone speak out against same-sex relationships, let alone same-sex marriage.

Everyone who pays attention in any Bible study knows that Adam and Eve is not a literal story; it didn’t actually happen (most churches will even admit this).  Just by reading it, it’s obvious to tell that the story is that they are born with the innocence children are born of today — they don’t know about what’s right and wrong in society, they just see things how it is.  Once they consume the apple (apple being knowledge, and also the fruit that has been known to be given to teachers.  Coincidence?  I think not), they begin to realize how society feels about many things, and are made to feel guilty regarding the nudity, among other things.  Because the apple represents society.  Next, of course He picked a man and a woman to build first in the story, duh, they have to make children here to make our population, right?  Would our society be bore of these two if it wasn’t written that way?  No.  Logic seems to evade people, as of late.  Hate and bigotry must be getting in the way.

What happened to religion influencing our society?  Instead, our society is making a feeble attempt to mold and interpret religion to fit their beliefs, as opposed to following the beliefs that are in the Bible.

If God made us all, then God made homosexuals.  I don’t know how many times I’ve heard someone say that God doesn’t make mistakes, but if I had a nickel for every time I’d probably be a multi-millionaire.  So, if God doesn’t make mistakes, and God made homosexuals, then he wanted them that way.  You don’t choose your sexual orientation, you’re born with it.  And if God loves all of his children, then he loves homosexuals just as much as heterosexuals.

There are even insinuated same-sex relationships in the Bible, three to be exact.  Ruth and Naomi, David and Jonathon, and Daniel and Ashpenaz.

Let’s keep in mind that the Bible was not written in English originally, and has been re-written and edited by churches across the world to fit what they think is right and wrong — not what is directly written in the Bible.  Translating these original texts is also tedious, and things always get lost in translation.

There are two words specifically that get mistranslated from the original Hebrew writings. (source)

• qadesh means a male temple prostitute who engaged in ritual sex; it is often mistranslated as “sodomite” or “homosexual.”
• to’ebah means a condemned foreign Pagan religious cult practice, but often translated as “abomination.”
  

If God was so against homosexuality, why is there no passage in the Bible where Jesus speaks against it?  If he speaks for God, then why is there nothing about it coming from Jesus’ lips?  He has hundreds of instructions and prohibitions, and not one is against homosexuality.  You would imagine that if God didn’t think that it was right, or that these people were not to be treated equally with equal rights, that there would be a passage about it.

The story of Sodom even has nothing to do with homosexuality, even though that is what it was believed.  (Read more about that here)

The words “homosexual” and “homosexuality” do not even appear in the Bible, at least not in the original Hebrew, Aramaic, and Greek texts.  Again, more proof that we interpret the Bible to fit society as-is, what we’re afraid of, our personal beliefs, as opposed to trying to make society fit the morals that are explained in the Bible.

Next, where do we have room to judge each other, or what would be considered right and wrong in God’s eyes?  If someone wants to profess their love in religious marriage in front of God, isn’t it up to God as to whether or not He honors this union?  It is not our decision, it shouldn’t be, nor should it ever be.

If for nothing else, where do we as human-beings have the right to take away someone else’s right?  We should not have that power.  Marriage is a basic right that should be available to all of us, we should be able to profess our love to the one we care about and want to spend the rest of our life beside.  If lying is a sin, then I’m sure God would rather them live their life in honesty and be at peace with who they are than be scorned for something that they cannot choose and live their life hiding their true feelings.  Marry someone they do love and they are attracted to, or marry someone of the opposite sex because that is what our society thinks is right?  I think I know where God would stand on such an issue, because He wants love and equality for all.  Just as we should want for each other.

By saying that there should be no same-sex marriages, you’re saying that homosexuals are second class citizens that do not deserve basic civil rights.  I would like to know who has the right to make that judgment call.

At this point I’m reminded of a previous civil-rights movement.  Back in the day, blacks couldn’t marry whites — this would rid me of some of my future cousins from my impending marriage (to a male, mind you).  I wouldn’t have these cousins who are amazing people.  I wouldn’t have one of my good friends (who was ironically raised by two lesbians).  How is gay marriage any different than we banned interracial marriage?

Which is slightly amusing, since Jesus would have been a dark-skinned middle Eastern man.  Yep, I said it.  Though that should be rather logical given in the area he grew up in.

There is the argument that, “Well, they can’t have children.”  Well, they can adopt — and being gay doesn’t make them incapable of raising children.  There are plenty of heterosexual couples who should not raise children, they do not teach love and understanding, yet we are trying to keep someone who could teach them and show them the love that our society needs away from raising children?  It makes no sense to me.  There are many heterosexual couples who are incapable of having children for health reasons, should they not get married as well?  We can’t choose our health issues anymore than we can choose our sexuality.

There was an argument that was commen when Proposition 8 was being publisized — saying that by allowing same-sex marriage, we were going to teach students to be gay.  Being gay is something that you’re born with, you’re made that way, it’s not a choice.  Many gay individuals are raised by heterosexual parents and had heterosexual teachers — that in and of itself should show that it is not a choice for them.  What about heterosexuals that are raised by homosexuals?  I know a few, and guess what — they’re straight as ever, and are fully supported by their parents.

Think about it.  Just really sit there and think about it for a second.

I’m not asking anyone to think that it’s right or wrong, I’m asking you to realize that by allowing same-sex marriages, no one is depleting you of your rights.  You’re trying to destroy the right of someone else that should have deserved them from the beginning.  They want a chance at 50% success rate, a meager 50%.  They want a shot at what we have a shot at — ever-lasting love with someone who they care immensely about.  I care immensely about my soon-to-be husband, and I would not want someone to take my option to marry away from me, so I wouldn’t want to take it away from anyone else.  If a same-sex couple wants to profess their love before God, who are we to say that they can’t?  Isn’t that God’s decision?  And why are we attempting to take away God’s decision for Him based on our own judgment?  Isn’t He the only one who can really judge us?

I feel there is a division between God and between religion, they don’t seem to be one in the same anymore.

I may add and edit to this as time goes on, my mind has been racing about this and my heart has been broken by those who have been oppressed their basic civil rights over something they cannot choose.  Someone wants to live their life with honesty and dignity, yet we want them to hide and live a lie.  So disappointing.

Due to the separation of church and state, we should not be able to vote on someone’s rights based on our religious views.  There shouldn’t be propositions to vote on based on neglecting someone else of their rights.  This issue has nothing to do with religion, but with bigotry and twisting the words of God to fit what you want them to, not what they literally mean.  It saddens me that our society is still practicing hate, bigotry, and intolerance for things that we do not understand when we should be trying harder to accept them and understand them.

I leave you (for now) with a couple videos, and some links to different religious sites that support same-sex marriages — including a group on Facebook for Christians for Marriage Equality.

This next video is incredibly important, and I agree Keith, if you respect your God then SPREAD love.  That is what He would want.

• Catholic Statement Supporting the Freedom to Marry in California
• The Association of Welcoming and Affirming Baptists
• Father Geoff Farrow’s Blog
• Yes, if you believe in a loving, inclusive God
• Christians for Marriage Equality (Facebook group, all religions welcome!  Many more links inside)

I’m writing this blog in light of the release of “The Last House On The Left (2009).” There is a very graphic rape scene in the movie (don’t go see it if this bothers you, though I do expect the general population to know since it was also in the 1972 version), and people are upset saying that they’re using rape for entertainment.

Fact: Most women who are murdered are raped prior to their murder, or sometimes even post mortem.  The writers (Wes Craven) included this to show that it’s not quick and easy to die, and I think it’s helpful making women aware to be weary of strangers — just because someone seems like a nice person, doesn’t mean they necessarily are, and going somewhere private with them could indeed lead to something very sinister.  I mean, look at serial killers, many of them had PETITIONS going around their hometowns because people who knew them didn’t think they were capable of such atrocities!  They come off as nice, law abiding citizens…. Until they get caught doing unthinkable acts.

I’ve decided to compile information for my readers to stay safe, or to provide to their children to keep them safe.

In a survey conducted by Diana Russell in 1978, of 930 randomly selected women, 44% of women will experience rape or attempted rape in their lifetime.  Some estimates indicate that about every six minutes of every day, someone is sexually assaulted in the United States.

Please click here for myths and facts regarding rape.

Many women are abducted after being followed or by someone observing pedestrians on the street.  It’s important to know what triggers these assailants to want to pick you from a crowd of others.

An important thing to be aware of is your surroundings, the number one place assailants find their victims is college campuses.  Second is cosmetology schools, massage therapy schools, and nursing schools.

Rapists don’t just choose their victims at random, there is a method to their madness.  When convicted rapists were shown a video of pedestrians walking on a New York City street, the majority picked the same victims with astonishing accuracy.

How do you prevent yourself from becoming a victim?

• If you’re out, don’t drink anything that is just given to you.  Rapists have a very easy time getting access to medication that can knock you out and are tasteless in a drink.  They could go to a walk-in clinic, saying that they just got out of a break-up and are suffering from depression, and unable to sleep at night.  They’ll be prescribed a very decent amount of sleeping pills, and enough of them when powdered up (especially in an alcoholic beverage) can make a woman feel groggy in even under two minutes.
• Dressing in a “sexy” manner doesn’t make you more of a victim — they actually tend to look more towards women dressed more conservatively.  Women who dress provocatively typically have a high self-esteem and are more aware of their surroundings than a woman who’s dressed in baggy clothing and staring at the sidewalk.
• Being on your cell phone is considered a distraction.  If you’re walking and texting, talking on your phone, or fumbling for your keys in your purse you’re more likely to be grabbed.
• Don’t let people stop you.  Don’t ever follow a stranger.
• Be aware of your surroundings!  I cannot stress this enough.  If you walk with your head held high and you’re confident you’re considerably less likely to be grabbed.  They don’t want a woman who will put up a fight!
• Don’t park in an unattended garage; park in a public garage where they have supervision — even if it means you have to pay when in another instance you wouldn’t have to.
• When going to your car have your keys in your hand, don’t be fumbling inside your purse for your personal belongings.  I have bear-strength mace on my key chain, so I like to have them handy when I’m getting to my car and I’m alone

But if someone grabs me, what can I do?

If you’re grabbed, you’re likely to be grabbed from your wrist, or from behind.  If you are grabbed from your wrist, swing your arm down and away — you’ll likely break free.  Otherwise, if that doesn’t work, or you’re grabbed from behind, there are some great pressure points to pinch that will help with a release!

Reach for the inside of your armpit — no don’t pinch there! — and go about one inch up your bicep on the inner part of the arm…. PINCH!  That hurts without much effort, I’d hate to see what would happen if you dug your nails into an assailant with such precision.  That would offer a lot of pain (plus you’d get some sweet DNA to take to police!).  The other place is obvious, the innermost part of the thigh.  PINCH HARD!  When this was tried on football players wearing even two pairs of pants, they were still in pain and let go during defensive procedures classes where they taught women to get away from assailants!

And remember, rape isn’t just about sex — it’s about power, control, and often they feel that they cannot control their urges.  Sexoffender.com will let you look at how many sexual offenders are in your area.  Be aware!