People have a tendency to view me as cold, stand-off-ish, and more often than not use the word “intimidating” to describe when they first meet me.  Over the years I’ve become excellent at compartmentalization, I can easily hide my feelings and feign that nothing is bothering me, fake my happiness, and vice versa.

I think that since I excel in compartmentalization techniques, people misinterpret my feelings.  Maybe misinterpret is an incorrect word, I am rarely ever asked how I feel about certain situations, and people will just assume.  Since I can easily not show emotion and can ignore people for weeks on end, others think they can sense what’s going on in my brain.  I know from experience in trying to do this to others that you can’t, and you can’t assume you know how someone else feels because you’ll probably never get it right.

Have you ever had that gut feeling when people are talking about you?  That’s my feeling today.  Recently, a person in my life (we’ll refer to this person as A1) has betrayed my friendship and my trust.  A1 is a person whom I’ve worked very hard to make sure I’ve met his feelings at least halfway, and tried to respect the things that bring him happiness.  This same respect has not been shown onto me time and time again.  As a result, I’ve decided to discontinue my association with A1 in effect to save my sanity.  I can’t continue to put someone else’s feelings and wishes ahead of my own if I haven’t even made their list.

It reminds me of a quote:

Never make someone a priority while allowing yourself to be their option.

That may not be the exact quote, but it’s close enough.  I can’t continue making myself an option for people who toss my feelings aside, and are hypocritical.  If you want me to do something, you should probably do it in return.  It often makes me wonder if A1 respected my feelings at all.  I shall safely assume no, since he has never tried to contact me in order to rectify the situation.  In fact, he hasn’t even bothered to ask me my feelings at all.

I’ve never worn my heart on my sleeve, if not asked I more often than not will not share my deepest emotions.  In fact, not even the emotions that dwell just under the surface.  I wonder if people realize that I have feelings at all.  It’s become a joke within my circle of friends, as I will often say, “That would hurt my feelings…. If I had any.”  I hide them well.  Hey, it’s important in service positions.  I can’t be cutting someone’s hair while sobbing and wiping snot on my sleeve.  That’s not going to make them want to return to me, is it?

Readers, have you ever had someone who you believed to be close with brush you aside and blatantly disregard your feelings as if you had none?  Who can relate?

I’ve decided instead of just keeping a blog based on beauty products, that I’m going to get down to the core.  I’m going to say what I really feel.  Most of all, I’m going to open up and let people get to know me, and how I tick.  Instead of just answering beauty related questions, I’d be happy to give advice as well as my views on relationships, social stigmas, you name it.

I apologize in advance for my scattered thoughts.  More often than not I’ll get sidetracked mid-story.  I’ll do my best to avoid such circumstances, but I can’t make any promises.

Send in any comments or suggestions!

Sorry I’ve been so MIA faithful readers!

Last month the fiance and myself just moved into our new home.  Such a pain in the butt!  I knew home buying would be work, but I wasn’t fully prepared for all the work ahead of us — and we’re still working on it.

I hope your holidays have been wonderful, whatever holiday you celebrate.  I got a netbook as a combined birthday and Christmas present (my birthday is on January 2nd), so I’ll hopefully be updating a lot more for everyone now that I have something other than my desktop!

What have you been up to?  How were your holidays?  Any exciting beauty products?

So it appears Nixie Cosmetics is on an indefinite hiatus and have even taken their website down.

I find it odd that they don’t want to get rid of backstock, but evs.  I’m over it.

Moving on!

I’ve applied for a Tax ID which is going to allow me to *gasp* sell make up!  This may be a problem for you, blog followers, as I plan on selling my favorite products and favorite brands only.  So you may see an assortment of colors and brands, all at affordable and competitive prices.  I really want to bring you guys the best of the best, without ripping into your wallet.

Naturally, seeing as I have to pay taxes on this stuff, I do plan on making some sort of profit off of it — so don’t expect to get everything at cost.  This is something I’ve worked very hard for!

Now, I’ve got some questions for you.  There are many brands that won’t allow me to do this, so don’t mind me if I don’t carry a brand or item you suggest — companies are picky when it comes to retail.

But, I really need to know your favorite brands for the following!

Foundation.
Powder.
Eyeliner.
Eyeshadow.
Blush.
Lipstick.
Lipgloss.
Mascara.

Please avoid big names like MAC, Lancome, and other things you’d see in a department store — it’s unlikely I’d ever get the approval to sell it online.  I’m probably just going to start out with eyeshadow and eyeshadow bases, but as I make more money, the more I’ll be able to add to the store for everyone.

Let me know in the comments!

All Nixie updates have been forwarded to this post.  Please bookmark for company updates as I receive them.

Just an update.

Today I received my Nixie Cosmetics order I placed last month. I’m assuming that since they closed down their LA store location (since it wasn’t an official retail outlet, I can understand not wanting to pay rent at a place you’re not using), that orders have been incredibly backed up while they move any products they had in there out and reorganizing everything. No letter was included stating that they weren’t a business.

They expedited the shipping as well.

I’m going to safely assume that since the site is still accepting orders, that they are still a company. Why? Because they have to pay for credit card processing. I don’t know why a company would want to pay for each credit card process (the individual fees can get hefty) if they weren’t still a business. Next, if they went out of business, I would think they’d still want to get rid of back-stock. I sure would!

Not to mention if they aren’t and are still accepting orders, it would be considered fraud.  Which is punishable by Federal Law.

Since Nixie is a newer company (coming to light in 2007) I’m hoping we can all cut them a break. The products are fantastic, and I’m sure they’ll get their customer service down. Small companies have a harder time since there are less people working for them.

I plan on making another order in September, and I’ll let you know how that goes as well, just to make sure everything is in working order!