What Everyone Should Want In A Relationship

I hate generalizing anything, so I’m not going to specify men or women in this post.  This is general shit for everyone.  Don’t be an idiot.

For those of you who don’t enjoy lengthy posts with my unmatched wit and foul language, I am going to first break it down into a list for you so you don’t have to read it.

  1. Honesty
  2. Loyalty
  3. Humor
  4. Communication
  5. Respect
  6. Trust
  7. Being uninhibited

Now I get to do my favorite part.  Break it the fuck down like a dubstep track.

I don’t give a fuck what you did, or what you think: honesty is the best policy.  You can’t work through any sort of issue if you aren’t upfront about it.  You have to be honest about a lot of things here, your short-comings, your feelings, you know, stuff you probably want to open up about because it is going to make you vulnerable.  But, if you can’t be vulnerable with your significant other, what is the point of being with them?  They should take you for your cons as well as your pros — no human-being is perfect, and it’s our differences in our faults and good characteristics that make us unique.  So fucking deal with it.  You’re never going to find someone who is perfect, or that you see eye to eye on with everything.  You’re going to fuck up — most likely unintentionally.  Your partner is going to fuck up.  If something bothers you, say it.  If your partner is not a complete fucking douchebag, they will listen and find a resolve that you will both be happy with.

I think loyalty is an important part of any relationship.  I know a lot of people have open relationships, or are swingers, or any of that blah blah blah — but loyalty still stands.  You’re still with that person, and you know what type of loyalty you want whether that be monogamy or what-have-you.  You have to be loyal to that person, to your boundaries, to their boundaries, and finding a happy medium.

Humor is self-explanatory.  If you aren’t funny and don’t laugh together you have nothing.  Nothing. If a guy doesn’t make me laugh so hard I nearly wet myself, I don’t give him the time of day.  At the end of the day, you need someone to laugh with, who thinks you’re funny… Even if you really aren’t.

Communication is the key to everything on this list.  It is the foundation for every aspect of having a healthy relationship.  You need to be able to talk about your desires, your dreams, your fears, your day, your feelings… The list goes on, and I’m too lazy to type that much.  This next part ties in really deeply, and this might resonate with you because you might be an asshole that has none of it.

Respect.  You have to respect what your partner is communicating with you.  Did you hurt their feelings?  It happens.  You don’t have to understand why their feelings are hurt, it may make absolutely no sense to you.  You were raised differently, have different life experiences… And that is a-o-fucking-kay.  What is not okay is not respecting what your partner is communicating with you.  This makes you an insensitive dickhole and you should stop breathing all of the good air and be comfortable never having a healthy relationship in your life.  You’ve probably never had one because you are a selfish prick.  That wasn’t direct at anyone, I swear!  (Yes it was, you, yes you, if you still read my shit — you are a selfish, insensitive asshole.  Or at least that’s your defense mechanism.  And it is lame.)

Trust is self explanatory.  If you’re honest, people can trust you, if you’re a fucking liar nobody is ever going to like you because liars are assholes.

Being uninhibited with the person you are with, as far as I am concerned, is super important.  I would never date a guy who wasn’t aware that I shit, fart, burp, and piss just like they do — only I sit down (though I did date a guy who sat when he peed.  Never asked why).  Chances are, and keep in mind I will not invest in any relationship I don’t believe is long term, at some point you are going to get sick, and you might crap your pants, or vomit in front of them.  Your partner should take care of you, and rub your back, and supply your stinky butt with baby wipes to keep clean.  If you can’t come in and poop while I’m taking a shower and talk to me over coffee while doing it, then we’ve got nothin’.  I want to be trusted, and trust my partner, with every aspect of them — including their basic human functions.

There you have it folks: What I personally think are all extremely important aspects in a relationship.  Agree or disagree, I don’t really care.  But you’re more than welcome to sound off in the comments and let me know what you think.

Are You With The Right Partner?

I typically don’t like posting things that I did not write, or that I don’t even know who the original fucking author was (if someone knows, let me know so I can edit this post), but  I read this on Facebook last night and it really, really hit home.  Thought I would share it and shed some light on how relationships work, how I knew they work, and how my now ex couldn’t seem to figure this shit out.

During a seminar, a woman asked,” How do I know if I am with the right person?”

The author then noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so he said, “It depends. Is that your partner?” In all seriousness, she answered “How do you know?” Let me answer this question because the chances are good that it’s weighing on your mind
replied the author.

Here’s the answer.

Every relationship has a cycle… In the beginning; you
fall in love with your partner. You anticipate their calls,
want their touch, and like their idiosyncrasies. Falling in love wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely natural and spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept of my feet.”Picture the expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something happened TO YOU.

Falling in love is a passive and spontaneous experience. But after a few months or years of being together, the euphoria of love fades. It’s a natural cycle of EVERY relationship.

Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship; you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage.

At this point, you and/or your partner might start asking, “Am I with the right person?” And as you reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you
may begin to desire that experience with someone
else. This is when relationships breakdown.

The key to succeeding in a relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the person you found.

People blame their partners for their unhappiness and look outside for fulfillment. Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes.

Infidelity is the most common. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your relationship. It lies within it.

I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later.

Because (listen carefully to this):

The key to succeeding in a Relationship is not finding the right person; it’s learning to love the Person you found.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. You have to work on it day in and day out. It takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it demands WISDOM. You have to know
WHAT TO DO to make it work. Make no mistake about it.

Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your partner), Just as there are physical laws Of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. If you know how to apply these laws, the results are predictable.

Love is therefore a “decision”. Not just a feeling.

Remember this always: God determines who walks into your life. It is up to you to decide who you let walk away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let GO! ♥

And there you have it, folks.

Well, I accidentally deleted my whole blog.

By “I accidentally deleted my whole blog” I actually mean “I forgot to pay it and GoDaddy deleted my whole blog.”  Which, fortunately, I am not at all upset about.  I kind of wanted to start fresh anyway for the sake of that I wanted to change the direction in which this blog was going.

So, what is MollyLoretta.com going to be about now?  Well, your hopefully favorite sarcastic, cynical blogger plans to continue blogging about hair and make up, but I will be expanding my horizons to include blogs about relationships, friends, family, traveling, movies, television shows, video games, music, and of course my favorite hobby… Eating.  I hope you like food porn, you will be bombarded with it.

Oh, and great white sharks.  There will definitely be great white sharks all up in this shizzle.

Sit back, relax, and give me some time to get this whole shindig up and running again.  While you’re waiting, please feel free to e-mail me at molly.loretta@gmail.com to let me know what you want me to blog about.