I hate generalizing anything, so I’m not going to specify men or women in this post. This is general shit for everyone. Don’t be an idiot.
For those of you who don’t enjoy lengthy posts with my unmatched wit and foul language, I am going to first break it down into a list for you so you don’t have to read it.
- Being uninhibited
Now I get to do my favorite part. Break it the fuck down like a dubstep track.
I don’t give a fuck what you did, or what you think: honesty is the best policy. You can’t work through any sort of issue if you aren’t upfront about it. You have to be honest about a lot of things here, your short-comings, your feelings, you know, stuff you probably want to open up about because it is going to make you vulnerable. But, if you can’t be vulnerable with your significant other, what is the point of being with them? They should take you for your cons as well as your pros — no human-being is perfect, and it’s our differences in our faults and good characteristics that make us unique. So fucking deal with it. You’re never going to find someone who is perfect, or that you see eye to eye on with everything. You’re going to fuck up — most likely unintentionally. Your partner is going to fuck up. If something bothers you, say it. If your partner is not a complete fucking douchebag, they will listen and find a resolve that you will both be happy with.
I think loyalty is an important part of any relationship. I know a lot of people have open relationships, or are swingers, or any of that blah blah blah — but loyalty still stands. You’re still with that person, and you know what type of loyalty you want whether that be monogamy or what-have-you. You have to be loyal to that person, to your boundaries, to their boundaries, and finding a happy medium.
Humor is self-explanatory. If you aren’t funny and don’t laugh together you have nothing. Nothing. If a guy doesn’t make me laugh so hard I nearly wet myself, I don’t give him the time of day. At the end of the day, you need someone to laugh with, who thinks you’re funny… Even if you really aren’t.
Communication is the key to everything on this list. It is the foundation for every aspect of having a healthy relationship. You need to be able to talk about your desires, your dreams, your fears, your day, your feelings… The list goes on, and I’m too lazy to type that much. This next part ties in really deeply, and this might resonate with you because you might be an asshole that has none of it.
Respect. You have to respect what your partner is communicating with you. Did you hurt their feelings? It happens. You don’t have to understand why their feelings are hurt, it may make absolutely no sense to you. You were raised differently, have different life experiences… And that is a-o-fucking-kay. What is not okay is not respecting what your partner is communicating with you. This makes you an insensitive dickhole and you should stop breathing all of the good air and be comfortable never having a healthy relationship in your life. You’ve probably never had one because you are a selfish prick. That wasn’t direct at anyone, I swear! (Yes it was, you, yes you, if you still read my shit — you are a selfish, insensitive asshole. Or at least that’s your defense mechanism. And it is lame.)
Trust is self explanatory. If you’re honest, people can trust you, if you’re a fucking liar nobody is ever going to like you because liars are assholes.
Being uninhibited with the person you are with, as far as I am concerned, is super important. I would never date a guy who wasn’t aware that I shit, fart, burp, and piss just like they do — only I sit down (though I did date a guy who sat when he peed. Never asked why). Chances are, and keep in mind I will not invest in any relationship I don’t believe is long term, at some point you are going to get sick, and you might crap your pants, or vomit in front of them. Your partner should take care of you, and rub your back, and supply your stinky butt with baby wipes to keep clean. If you can’t come in and poop while I’m taking a shower and talk to me over coffee while doing it, then we’ve got nothin’. I want to be trusted, and trust my partner, with every aspect of them — including their basic human functions.
There you have it folks: What I personally think are all extremely important aspects in a relationship. Agree or disagree, I don’t really care. But you’re more than welcome to sound off in the comments and let me know what you think.